May 28, 2007 - Senators v. Ducks

Well, alright! The Stanley Cup Final! Lots of pomp and circumstance surrounding this game. Well, maybe a bit more pomp than circumstance, but whatever. There was a bunch of comedy right off the bat for this one before the puck even dropped. First of all, let me just say that I’m not familiar with Mike Emrick, the play-by-play guy on Versus, because I don’t really ever watch hockey on this channel. However, I will say that he looks exactly like Dana Carvey impersonating Ross Perot from SNL back in the day. So that put me in a good mood right off the bat.




The singing of the national anthem, or in this case, anthems, is always a big deal, but it seems more epic during marquee sporting events, such as opening day, any all-star game, the Super Bowl….err…I mean the “Big Game”, and of course, the Stanley Cup Final. Now, I’ve never been a fan of Crosby Stills Nash and Young, and I always just assumed it was for the same reason nobody else liked them – you know, because of Neil Young. However, after hearing Stephen Stills’ rendition of our beloved anthem, I’m going to reconsider my thinking on the subject. Man, that was just awful. And on Memorial Day no less! Is it un-American for me to think the Canadian anthem was performed better? I certainly hope not.

Another funny moment in the early going was when the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, performed the pre-game ceremonial dropping of the puck. While Arnie posed, holding the puck over the ice, staring at the camera with a plastic smile, someone involved in the ceremony could be heard saying something to the effect of “Okay, go…..go ahead and drop it……DROP THE PUCK!!” All the while, Arnie was just smiling at the camera, not moving. Finally, he dropped it, but obviously not before pissing someone off tremendously. I was absolutely dying.

During the game, the commentators mentioned how they thought there would be period of ‘feeling out’ between the two teams since they didn’t meet during the regular season this year. They were surprised at the physical play early on. Well, I don’t know why they’d be surprised about it. We’re talking about the possibility of this series going as few as four games. I don’t think either team wants to spend a whole lot of time getting a feel for the other. Hell, hit ‘em early and try to score first. That’s what I say. Forget about trying to figure out the other team’s game plan.

When Samuel Pahlsson of the Ducks tried to help J.S. Giguere by flipping his stick to him, it prompted the question “If you’re an NHL goalie and a stick and a puck are both flying at you at the same time, which do you attempt to stop?” The answer, apparently, is neither. Nice job, Pahlsson. Maybe next game you can take your skate off and beat Jiggy over the head with it while Dany Heatley fires the puck at him from point blank.

Unbelieveable stat alert: Has Anton Volchenkov really blocked 273 shots this year? Think about the damage his body must have sustained during the season with that kind of punishment. His torso must look like Edward James Olmos’ cheeks.

So, game one is in the books. And it was a good one. Can’t believe hockey isn’t more popular than it is. Of course, there are millions of soccer fans wondering the same thing about soccer…or is it futbol? Whatever.

May 28, 2007 - Ducks v. Senators

Since I don't care a great deal about either of these teams I had to summon up some reasons to root for one or the other and here's what I came up with... USA vs CANADA. Who cares that both these teams have players mostly born in Eastern Uzbeckizatnislav? (I realize that the Ducks actually have more Canadian born players than the Senators, but whatever, they've picked their side) Isn't every team that you're a fan of comprised of players from all over the world in any sport you're a fan of? And then if God forbid, your team moves, who are you really rooting for, the mascot? For the remainder of the column I will be referring to the Ducks as the Americans and the Senators as the Canadians (To avoid confusion with the actual Montreal Canadiens, I will be just referring to them as random Canadian slurs) . U - S - A! U - S - A! U - S - A!

As play begins, it already looks like the Americans seem to have the better team. They're faster, hit harder and generally look as though they're on cruise control. Showing that these aren't your average Celine Dion fans, the Maple Syrup Squad (MSS) attacks the lapse defense of the Americans and scores on a lucky goal. None of this really phases the Americans who still appear to be lacking motivation, until a sweet pass by Teemu leads to a water bottle rattling goal. Smelling blood in the water, the Americans attack relentlessly for a solid 10 minutes going into the next period. Then back to cruise control, until they're down 2 men on a 5-3 power play. Refocused with only 3 men on the ice, the Americans come back and kill the power play. Seriously, they only seemed to really be fired up when they are a man or two down. What's with this team? They really seemed to lack intensity except for those few moments.

This focus lasts only so long before the McKenzie brothers catch "Jiggy" without his stick. Isn't this the equivolent of the old West when a guy is shot in the back? I think they used to chop your hands off if you did it in the old West. I guess the modern day equivalent for a Canadian, would be to chop off his mullet and take away his Molson.



The Americans go on to win it and convincingly so in my opinion. It just seems as though when motivated, they're just too tough to beat. This thing could have been a blood bath and the only reason it wasn't is because they were on cruise control for half the game.

Well this is the last post of the season for me on Hockey. I'm happy to see that the Americans made it to the Stanley Cup Finals. Hopefully the Ducks can keep those Maple Syrup swilling Nanooks of the North from getting their grubby mitts on it. I think they can. U - S - A! U - S - A! U - S - A!

May 28, 2007 - Ducks v. Senators

It's great to finally get a chance to make a contribution here. And what a game! If that wasn't truly the game of the week, I would like to know what was! That is why hockey play-offs are so great. Such intensity! Such excitement! Thank god we don't have to wait every four years for this to happen!

I love the hits in hockey! I love everything about hockey, but I really love the hits. And this game was a hit-fest.

Before I get into the game, I have to mention something about the job Stephen Stills did of singing our national anthem. What happened to this guys voice? I'm not a big Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young fan, but when I did hear their songs on the radio I remember the vocals sounding nice. I don't remember one of the guys sounding like he had just gargled with a rusty anchor! I could have sung the song better than him!

Back to the game. Man the Senators came out strong! They were playing scary strong like the Red Wings did a couple of times against the Sharks and Ducks (before the Ducks sent them fishing). That first goal by the Senators was ugly. It took them nearly an hour to announce the official goal scorer! But a goal is a goal and the Senators going up 1-0 made me nervous, especially the way they were playing.

Now the McDonald goal to tie it up was pretty as they come. And Selanne's pass was also a thing of beauty. But none of it would have happened if Drew Miller had not drilled the hell out of the Senator defender and made him cough up the puck. That was an awesome play!

The Ducks finished the second half of the first period like a monster! Though they did have some dumb penalties. I don't remember who did it, but somebody laid a clothesline on a Senator that was reminiscent of Richard Kiel's scene from The Longest Yard.

I was really impressed with how tough Brad May was playing. I like that guy, and not just because his last name is the name of one of the best horror films to come out in the last five years.

Speaking of dumb penalties, what's with Ryan Getzlaf conducting an experiment to see how many times you can cross-check a guy before the ref will call you on it? He must have cross-checked that guy five times! Four times not enough for you Getzlaf?

Of course that must have really upset Giguere, because he decided to protest by playing goal without a stick! Which didn't work out so good as it didn't take the Senators long to score on a stickless goalie.

I was impressed when the Ducks killed the 5-3 advantage and nearly scored a shortie to boot! What the heck was Emery doing that far out of the goal?!

The Ducks were simply ferocious in the third and I knew that they were at least going to tie it up. Getzlaf's game-tying goal was nice, and Moen's game-winner was nicer! Though Moen owes a lot to a hell of an assist by Rob Niedermayer.

Ducks look scary good! Though it's just one game. I hope this goes seven games. That would be sweet!!!

My favorite shot of the fans in attendance had to go to the guy with the sunglasses who was working the cowbell.

Final comment: Did you notice that Mark Messier looks more and more like Carel Struycken who is the actor that played Lurch in the two Addams Family movies from the '90s.

Faithfully submitted,

Rob

May 20, 2007 - Ducks v. Redwings

….and we’re back.

Alright, so I went into this game with very little enthusiasm about it due to the fact that hockey season, in essence, ended for me back when the Kings finished their annual stumble to the end of the regular season schedule. During the past few weeks I’ve been keeping up with which teams have won which games and series, but I haven’t watched very much post-season hockey at all this year. In fact, I haven’t watched much post-season hockey at all the past several seasons. It’s all just part of being a Kings fan. Anyway, I was completely indifferent as to who I wanted to win this game, let alone the series. At least, I thought I was. It didn’t take long after hearing the same ol’ names being mentioned as far as the Redwings go, for me to realize that I was absolutely, without a doubt, pulling for the Ducks to win this game. How could I call myself a Kings fan and not be rooting against the Lidstroms, Zetterbergs, Haseks, and Drapers of the world? I’ve always wondered why a person thinks they have to hate the Ducks to be a Kings fan. It’s not like the Ducks and Kings have any sort of rivalry built up over the years. They’ve never played each other in the post season (and with the two very different directions the Kings and Ducks organizations have been heading, it doesn’t look like they’ll be doing so anytime soon either). The Ducks and Kings are like the Lakers and Clippers. No rivalry there. Why pretend there is one? However, the Dodgers and giants? Now that’s a different story. There have been many occasions over the years when the Dodgers and giants have played very significant games with post season implications, taking turns playing the role of spoiler against one another, dashing each other's hopes of winning a pennant. Anyway, the Redwings have made a mockery out of most of the Western Conference for about 15 to 20 years running, and every team in the West should consider them public enemy number one, and every fan of their respective team should be rooting against the Wings with every ounce of passion they can muster. I, for one, know that by the middle of the first period of this game, I was.
You know how, as a fan, there are always those famous players in sports that you thought you hated and you rooted against them, but as the years went by you realized that they were pretty special and you grew to respect them and what they had accomplished during their careers? I’ll give an example. Larry Bird. Try to find a Lakers fan back in the 80s who liked this guy. He was the very bane of the Lakers existence. But as his career was winding down, Lakers fans began to appreciate what he lent to the marvelous rivalry that existed (and still does, by the way) between the Lakers and Celtics during that time. Now, I know there was a pretty big rivalry before that, but that’s not my point. Right now, today, I think you’d be pretty hard pressed to find a Laker fan who doesn’t appreciate and respect a Larry Bird. Anyway, more examples of this, for me anyway, would be Tony Gwynn, Mark Messier, Michael Jordan, and Gary Sheffield (just kidding! Shef’s pretty freakin’ far from making that list!). You know what got me thinking about all of this during last night’s game? Chris Chelios. Chris Chelios is a guy who’s had a very long, distinguished career. A man who has consistently been a top performer at the highest level of his trade. A guy who is most likely headed to the hall of fame. A man who is loved and cherished in both Chicago and Detroit. And, I have to tell you, a man who I absolutely can not stand for one instant! He and he alone, could sway my preference when it comes to watching hockey. When I heard his name mentioned and saw his image during warm-ups, I felt my eyes squint and my jaw clench as I looked at the screen in absolute disgust. There he was. Chris Chelios. I’m rooting against you, Chris Chelios! I don’t care about the Ducks. Never have. Most likely, never will. But there is one thing I do care about; Chris Chelios and the rest of the Detroit Redwings getting eliminated from these playoffs. It’s the only thing a self-respecting Kings fan could wish for. After last night’s game, my wish is that much closer to being fulfilled. Go Ducks!